If Rajni Can't...No one Can!

The year is 2050. ‘Torpedo’, the forever curious geek robot had just chanced upon an article at the Google Museum that chronicled the most successful motion picture ever made…Torpedo bypassed the firewall, altered the restricted access settings and hacked into the secure server (much like the protagonist of the movie) to access the You Tube library and witnessed the phenomena first hand…

It was a movie in which Endhi-ran, jumped, flew and kicked…serious butt! The movie was the epic Robot that starred the ‘Superstar’ Rajnikant. The film was so inspiring that Torpedo instantly uploaded it as a video application on Trakbook (the social media site for robots) and within nano seconds it had turned into a rage with the robot community.

The Motion Picture Producer’s Association of Rollywood (Bollywood for Robots!) had commissioned a script for a movie on ‘Rajnikant’. They thought it would be a fitting tribute to the legend who introduced the concept of ‘robotics’ to the world.

The best minds in the business tried hard to digitally create Rajnikant…The only issue was that the servers the animation application was built on. They were just not as fast as the real man and it was becoming tough for the digitally created Rajni to dodge bullets the way he did in flesh and blood.

Finally the movie was ready for release…giant size jpeg images of the posters were downloaded on every tablet PC and hand held device. The poster read – Rajnikant! The Emperor Strikes Back…

The plot was simple - Aliens were planning a large scale attack on all the Bio Mass Converters (the primary energy source) in order to wipe out the Robot Civilization and Rajnikant was given the mission to save the planet!

The climax had the alien chief in a state of the art battleship equipped with the latest electro magnetic armoury in a face off with Rajni who was armed with nothing more than a toothpick that did a fine job in removing the last remains of the spicy masala dosa!

No points for guessing – Rajni won hands down. The toothpick remained unharmed…

Journal of a Wanderer – Day 9

This was a pretty simple day…Afternoon flight back to Munich, a ride back to the hotel to collect the luggage and an evening flight to Delhi. There was ample time in between and how complicated could it possibly get?

Hold on...We reached Schiphol (one of the busiest airports in the world...I might add) just 45 minutes before our flight. I stood in the serpentine queue while Rahul was busy begging, pleading and even threatening to sue KLM before they made us jump the queue and check in. Still not sure what turned out to be the catalyst...my guess would be the veiled threat to sue them!

Finally we reached Munich and had 5 hours to goto the hotel and come back. We even joked that with our penchant for cycling – We could even take the cycle and still be back on time...

I wonder why we forget that the funniest jokes often turn into the worst nightmares. We boarded a train that stopped in the middle of nowhere. We got down and kept waiting for the next one...After half an hour we were told that this track had shut down as someone had committed suicide by jumping on the tracks...and you thought this happens only in India. Stranded in the middle of nowhere with no sign of civilization...We took another 45 minutes to get a taxi that dropped us till the nearest station. Instead of building up the suspense will cut to the “chase”...We finally reached the hotel picked up the luggage and headed back to the station...The train to the airport left in front of our eyes...typical DDLJ style...I also realized we cant run half as well as the lead pair in the movie and had no option but to watch the train disappear into the horizon.

We finally had to hire a cab to the airport...Once again made it just in time for the flight back home

I guess Jet Airways and Kingfisher Airlines have already put me on the banned list for my last minute arrivals. I get the sneaky feeling that Lufthansa and KLM will also follow suit...

Journal of a Wanderer – Day 8

Since we strongly detest conducted tours, we decided to venture out on our own. Took a bus to Volendam and decided to cycle from there to Marken. The 20 km track is by the famous Holland dyke and has to rank as one of the most breathtaking journeys I have ever taken. The pit stop at Monnickendam happened by chance when we couldn’t resist the temptation of fresh strawberries. This quaint old town reminds you of a French town from the “Tale of 2 Cities” ala Dicken style. Just the horse drawn carriages were missing.


Marken is a tiny fishing village and has some wonderful cafes at the harbour. The hallmark of Europe is that you can throw a pebble randomly and wherever it lands – it is good enough to be a picnic spot. All the enthusiasm that served as fuel during the 20 km cycle ride had now given way to tired legs and some good sense. We took the ferry back to Volendam

Journal of a Wanderer – Day 7

We began the day on an artistic note. We looked up Lonely Planet and felt it would be grossly unfair if we didn’t visit a couple of museums. We started by visiting the Van Gogh Museum. We sat through his film and walked through the aisles looking at paintings that have attained cult status. While we were not able to comprehend the extent of Van Gogh’s pain, we definitely realized that we didn’t want to inflict anymore pain on ourselves.

The next few museums were struck off the ‘to do’ list and we settled for a large pitcher of chilled Heineken beer at Leidseplein.

A couple of days here and I realized both Christianity as a religion and Amsterdam as a city make a very liberal combination. The famous red light area is between 2 churches. Can you imagine a theka that is 100 metres away from a temple? Infact the most popular night club – Paradiso is a converted church.

Before I get all philosophical about the state of the church…or is state and church...forget it, back to some liberal options - chilled beer and doner kababs.

Journal of a Wanderer – Day 6

The break in Munich was over and it was time to move to the next destination – Amsterdam. The decision making process to select the place of choice was an interesting one. We first looked at all the neighboring countries...Austria was struck off the list because we went there a couple of years back. Switzerland was struck off by me as I was there for more than a week during the ISC Symposium. Rahul was not too kicked about Germany as he covered the last World Cup there. France and Italy were a strict no no as they are countries one would rather visit with his partner...Thus we had to finally settle for the party capital of the world – Amsterdam.

It was important to make the selection of Amsterdam look strategic due to the sullen reputation of the extra curricular activities in the city...

The red light district was not half as impressive as it is projected. However we did bump into a lot of Indians there…more than what we had seen in Munich and Amsterdam combined. I had to restrict my activities to what can be termed moral for a married man...watched an erotic show and got a ‘simple’ Thai massage (not together dummy!)

With Holland’s amazing run at the World Cup this place had suddenly come alive and as management would say...We were indeed at the Right Place at the Right Time!

Journal of a Wanderer – Day 5

This was the first day of the extended break and we decided to stay back and explore the outskirts of Munich. We boarded a train to the border town of Garmisch and decided to go all the way up to the highest peak in Germany – Zugspitze. Unfortunately, the weather was really bad and I can’t write much about the view from the top as it was covered in a shroud of white cloud. However on the way back we stopped at Lake Eibsee. This has to be the most beautiful part of Germany...A heady cocktail of a beautiful lake, a forest skirting it and mountains in the backdrop.

We made it back to Garmisch with an hour to kill before the next train to Munich. Barely had we stepped out of the station that we were pulled up by the border police. What transpired for the next 45 minutes is enough fodder to write a book. In a nutshell - I was not carrying my passport; my pan card having a different spelling of my name added to the chaos and eventually the cops could not trace my ID. All the begging and pleading didn’t help and I was on the verge of being arrested. Finally, they agreed to call the hotel. I had to ask the manager to go to my room, open the safe and provide the cops with the information they required to realize I wasn’t an illegal immigrant. Phew! That was a close call...

Journal of a Wanderer – Day 4

Another day of the conference and we were fed some more of the “Right Place Right Time” bullshit. Nonetheless the strategy of nodding your head in agreement to what everyone says and the odd question is enough to prove that one was partially interested and fully attentive.

The “insightful” conference made way for the delightful cycle ride in the English Garden by the Iser River. The temptation to jump into the water was well resisted as one had to be back in time for the gala dinner.

The picturesque setting of the dinner by the lake was straight out of a postcard. While the venue was indeed out of this world – the dinner was as predictable as it gets. The social butterflies fluttered, the alcoholics stuttered and the management uttered...right place right time!