Angel's Share

Every year, around 2% of single malt evaporates from the wooden casks during maturation...this is unavoidable and referred to as the 'Angel's Share'...it is considered a lucky charm!

We could have easily squeezed an extra day in Scotland to be back in time for the Monday morning meeting. Yet, we unanimously agreed to return a day earlier to spend Sunday with Anya. This is our equivalent of the lil angel's share. 

The only snag in this entire holiday. While Etihad is a great airline...the last leg (Abu Dhabi to Bombay) was operated by Jet Airways. I have always been a Jet loyalist but this was shit with a capital S! There were more mallus in the flight than in the Sunny Leone section on xvideos. It was disgusting to see the 'cattle class' harass the air hostess for extra drinks. After such a fab break - this has to qualify as the Devils Share!

 

PS - I spoke too soon. Our bags didn't arrive...probably they wanted to enjoy Scotland for an extra day. Obviously, when it comes to a voracious appetite - the poor angel can never compete with the devil!

Indi-Yeah!

We have never been a race that has believed in world domination. The closest we have come is to export software coders to all the Western countries. I guess it is a combination of being diligent and willing to work at half the cost. However, China is fast wiping out that competitive edge - the communist doggedness and willing to work for a bowl of rice is irreplaceable...

However, it does feel good to see so many Indians making a mark in UK. I am not the patriotic kinds - but I remember my chest swelling with pride and wiping the imaginary tear on finding an ICICI Bank branch in Hyde Park. London was always well covered - But Scotland too is full of Indian restaurants...from the capital to the highlands. Two high points that will always be memorable...

1) We googled a fancy place called Vintage Bar. On reaching the coordinates, we found the place was taken over by a new management and was now called V Deep. The ambience was good, the staff helpful and had a good mix of people enjoying the food. The cuisine - Indian tapas. I still can't get over the 'goras' stuffing their face with pakoras and washing it down with the finest single malt!

2) What are the odds of finding a Bong restaurant at the shore area? Not just the cuisine, but also the name was Bengali. Glad to know my tribe has gone beyond writing poetry and discussing Marxist ideology and taken a step towards capitalism!

The two loves of my life...

Before your mind wavers towards faulty assumptions...they are music and sports. A pub captures the best of both worlds. I have always been fascinated with the quintessential British pub. It is a melting pot of a wide variety of people and culture. Retired and grumpy uncles complaining about life, office goers stopping for a beer before getting back home, college students bitching about their girlfriends, the odd dating couple and the recluse with a book (in a pub!)...you find them all

I was lucky to be in Scotland when the Ashes and the Wimbledon were going on. The adage says - Scots support only two sporting teams - Scotland and any team playing against England. This might not be entirely true. There was visible heartbreak when Murray was steamrolled by Federer. Similarly the excitement was palpable when England upset the Aussies in the first Ashes test...

Sports tourism is a big deal. I guess I have just been fortunate to be at the right place at the right time...always unplanned and somewhat Slumdog Millionairish....I was in London to launch Aaj Tak when India beat England in a test series in 2007. I guess, the last time we had a respectable away series with a favourable result. I watched Dhoni narrowly miss what would have been his first century outside the sub-continent (the bloke is yet to score one across formats)...Better still - Kumble scored his maiden century. During the 2008 football World Cup, I was in Munich and Amsterdam watching the respective national sides create magic. Similarly, was holidaying in Vancouver during the Stanley Cup finals and the local Canucks had made it to the finals for the first time...I remember missing the first Gran Prix in Istanbul by a few days, yet the buzz and festivity couldn't be missed! I guess this is the true litmus test to determine the sports culture of a nation...India sure has a lot of catching up to do!

And while India can take its time to catch up with the west...I didn't waste any to catch up on the gig bars...The Jazz Bar in Edinburgh was spectacular. Johnny Foxes and Gellions in Inverness were incredible. Every street corner had a bunch of talented musicians performing. But my favourite has to be Whistle Binkies - it's not as tony as the other places but the vibe is to die for. A new band performs every couple of hours...good old fashioned rock, just the way it should be served - loud!

Feeling Touristy!

 It's day 5 of the break and the 'discovery' phase seems to be over. Infact, I have started feeling like a tourist. I guess all the driving does take a toll. While the spirit is only a tad jaded, the flesh does seem weak. This also means I can hit the bar with a vengeance to make up for the opportunity loss. I can safely deactivate the 'responsible' filter for the remaining few days

 

Inverness is a nice quaint town. It is the capital of the highlands and most city slickers land up here for a weekend break. In crude terms - it is the Lonavla equivalent of Scotland (with a lot more character)...We are staying in tony heritage hotel that overlooks river Ness and a castle. This place is renowned for its steak and live music. There is a definite shortage of both in Bombay...it's catch up time, baby!

'Skye' is the limit...

The dense clouds make love to the mountains, the golden rays of the sun provide the perfect mood lighting, the sea preening in all its glory, the trees gently sway to the music of the winds, the odd drizzle that further slows down time and the long and winding roads...each one leading you to discover a new story and experience ultimate bliss!

Ah! The sheer joy of driving around and discovering Isle of Skye. Even an unromantic like me can't help falling in love!

We have a mandatory check box for every holiday - to discover hidden gems where most tourists won't tread. Google will offer little help and they won't be the most searched or reviewed on Trip Advisor. Be it Tofino in British Columbia, Garmisch in Germany, Oia in Greece, Cebu in Philippines, Monnickendam in Holland, Unawatuna in Sri Lanka and now Skye in Scotland. Fortune continues to favour the brave (read us!)

After driving over 200 miles, I don't have a single picture to share...not because I am lazy (ok, that also), but no single frame can do justice to what the eyes have witnessed. Every nook and cranny was like a 3D postcard. Take me out for a drink and I will share a few tales. Make it two drinks, and I might even share the itinerary!

Kilt, Scotch and Togetherness!

Ah! So we have finally taken the break. And Scotland it is! The planning process is indeed as enjoyable as the break itself. We usually spend 10 odd days on deciding the place. This is usually the extent of my stamina to argue with Bani. Eventually on the 11th day I give up and we 'mutually' agree on the destination.

This is my second trip to Scotland. I am promptly corrected - My first trip with Bani. We credit Aryabhatta for the invention of zero. I am bloody sure his wife must have played a key role. After all, no matter what a man plans, it eventually comes to naught when his better half takes over!

Super excited about this break...we have ditched the large cities (Edinburgh, Glasgow, etc) and the tourist traps (castles, whiskey tasting and more castles!) to spend more time in the highlands.

The break is also the longest we will be travelling without our lil typhoon. The earlier record was a princely duration of a day and a half and 100 kms away. It is indeed a marked improvement.

ps - This picture was taken against the backdrop of the largest scotch collection in the world. Almost true to the title - it captures Scotch and Togetherness...Kilt is missing and thankfully so!

Saleswoman of the Year!

It is unfortunate, but since time immemorial airlines have always used their air hostesses as eye candy (except Air India...unless they have a strategy to specifically cater to the blind). However, there seems to be a new trend where the air hostesses are also doubling up as aggro sales force. Perils of multi tasking!

The low cost carriers have already reduced the PYTs to purveyors of stale sandwich and crappy coffee. The international flights run a scam of bundling cheap perfume with accessories you will never need. But, the experience at Etihad was indeed new...The air hostess insisted that we sign up for frequent flier program. I tried to reason that I was already a member of Jet Airways and all the points accumulated as a partner airline. Little did she know...I might be a Bong by birth, but when it comes to airline miles - I can be a cunning Jew!

By now her calm demeanour had given way as the sales target was looming heavy on her head...she refused to give up. Even went to the extent of explaining how Etihad had picked up a 24% stake in Jet Airways and even had 2 seats on the board. Thankfully, she stopped short of giving details of their hawala transaction and the dubious source of Naresh Goyal's funding. However, I refused to budge! A classic case of brute force against an immovable object...

I have always regarded wifey as one of the best sales people I have known. Her recent award was a testimony of my adulation . But, watch out Bani...you probably have serious competition!

'Packing' a Punch!

I am not sure why airlines have an obsession with the personal packing habits of a traveller? Before one checks in for an international flight - he is greeted with a memo full of questions...and the one that tops the list - Did you pack your own bags?

Jeez...stop taunting me! I must admit - I never have and God willing (make it Bani willing)...never will pack my own bags. Sometimes, I seriously wonder - does Bani quietly slip in the memo to make me feel guilty! 

Tourist or Traveller?

Digital marketing is fairly intuitive and advanced. With the help of a few complex algorithms, it claims to sharply target communication to hapless souls, basis their need and mood. At least, that's what I assumed when a listicle with the question "Are you a tourist or traveller" popped up on my social feed.

While the content overdosed on stereotypes (similar to all South Indians are Madrasis, Mallus are horny, Bongs are cynical, etc. OK - I did make up a few), my answer to the question is a little 'off beat'! Honestly, I am neither...I am a wanderer. No map guides me...my spirit will always be my North Star! This kick ass repartee serves as a perfect alibi to my dismal ability to navigate using maps...

However, they must also add a 4th category...the retards! This august group comprises all the selfie stick carrying morons. I am planning to file a PIL that modifies the penal code making it mandatory to beat the jokers to pulp...with their very own selfie stick!

So, the wanderer is all set...for a break that is much needed and probably well deserved!

Day 11 - Home Sweet Home

The best thing about home is not the food, the big TV or the cozy comfort of my recliner…It has to be the loo…After driving over 2500 kilometres and visiting all kinds of rest rooms (the plush, the dirty and even the thorny shrubs) it’s definitely good to be back home.


My reflections from the holiday…The 7 wonders of a road traveller!

1. The roads were simply awesome…imagine covering 330 kms between Bikaner and Jaisalmer in 4 hours flat!

2. The mobile connectivity was seamless. One could find mobile towers every few miles. Infact the only places where my phone didn’t work was the border area (understandably) and the deserted dunes where we celebrated Christmas eve (thankfully)

3. Google Maps Rock - Never thought the application on my phone would be a life support…not just on the main highways but also in remote towns and villages.

4. Click Happy Generation – Indians are sure going the Japanese way…we click more pictures than we can print. The entire spectrum ranges from the high end SLR to the Chinese model cell phones.

5. Bongs love to travel – I hate the concept of stereotypes but my brethren with all their quirks are just too typical. Every holiday destination will see the quintessential bong family…The ‘professor type’ grand dad who doubles up as the time keeper, the ‘temple trailing’ grand mom, the ‘know it all’ daddy dearest who oscillates between getting bullied by his father and hen pecked by his wife, the sari clad mommy who is forever trying to please her mother in law without much success and the ‘bratty monkey cap donned’ kiddos with the most horrendous pet names. The knowing smile on your face indicates you have come across this tribe!

6. Baba Ramdev effect – Finally realised why the Hindi news channels make a beeline to cover Baba Ramdev…Everything from roadside tea stalls, dhabas and grocery stores have been named after the celebrated yoga instructor!

7. Luck counts – It always feels special when lady luck is smiling down on you. How else can one explain the car running out of fuel 20 metres before the petrol pump…Or for that matter the clouds opening up a day after we finished with the dunes!

Inspite of visiting some of the most beautiful parts of Europe and South East Asia – my top 2 holidays would be the one in Kashmir and this one in Rajasthan. ‘Incredible India’ is not just an ad slogan but a definite reality…Ironically the west realised it before we Indians did. Can’t wait for my next Indian holiday…Leh is currently topping that list…suggestions are always welcome!

Distance – 2545 km (Over and Out!)

Day 10 - Jaipur

One did bargain for a few hiccups on a road trip, but not for all of them to be packed into one day. How else can one explain driving over 400 kilometres and taking a marathon 9 hours for the same? By the time I reached the hotel in Jaipur – Every muscle was aching and all the bones in my body were rattling.

The Gujjar protests was gaining momentum and spreading thick and fast across strategic locations on highways and rail tracks. We did experience them in a couple of places and had to take detours through villages and state highways. It was indeed commendable the way the Gujjars braved through the rain and the winter chill and parked themselves on the highway. Wonder if they got their innate strength from all the media attention?

While some of the detours were forced…a few were courtesy our daftness. In both the instances we went against google maps and used our own wisdom and paid a heavy price. The detour was endless and bloody tiresome. Should have remembered…In the 21st Century – Google is always right!


The only highpoint of the day was the lunch in Pushkar in a café that overlooked the lake. I have visited Pushkar after 6 years and the lake looks visibly cleaner and definitely a lot fuller.

Distance so far – 2289 km

Day 9 - Khimsar / Nagaur

The action shifted to the fort palace today. The place is at par with Neemrana, probably even a shade better. While the fort was more accessible and luxurious, the memory of the dunes was still lingering…


We took a short day trip to the Nagaur fort. The fort was huge and not neatly restored like the other tourist destinations. It still had the ‘ruins’ feel to it and thoroughly enjoyed just walking about on a lazy winter afternoon. I can bet my bottom dollar that it’s a matter of time before this place is also converted into a tourist trap.


This was actually the last night of the holiday. The next 2 days would be part of the mechanics to reach home. Full marks to Khimsar Fort for creating magic out of regular stuff…The dining room was actually called ‘ruins’ and was created in a partially broken open air dome structure. It was also a refreshing break from the Rajasthani cuisine and enjoyed a well prepared conti meal…

Distance so far – 1887 km

Day 8 - Khimsar

Khimsar is about 100 kilometres off Jodhpur and the beautiful hotel property is divided into the fort complex and the huts in the dunes. Like greedy travellers we decided to get the best of both worlds and stay a night in each of the places.

The stay in the dunes was simply awesome…There was sheer poetry in the very approach. A jeep takes you through the village and you can experience the vegetation turn from green to mean as one nears the desert area. On the foot of the dunes, you board a camel cart that takes you over the dune to the mud huts. There is a man made oasis in the middle of the huts that magnifies the overall experience.

This place was a perfect marriage between the pristine beauty of nature and the comforts of luxury. The sand dunes on a winter night looked marvellous and the thought of a clean loo, running hot water and a heater in the room made the experience somewhat snooty but definitely memorable. This is the best an urban slicker can hope to achieve…

Can finally say - been there 'dune' that!

Distance so far – 1796 km

Day 7 - Jodhpur / Luni

By now fatigue had started to set in. It was a longish drive and the roads weren’t as good as what we were used to. Besides the city traffic of Jodhpur can even sap energy out of a playboy bunny!

The Mehrangarh fort was probably the best maintained. Infact it’s sad that the same effort wasn’t taken to maintain the fort in Jaisalmer that is 5 centuries older and has a more premium “heritage” tag.

The drive to Luni though only 50 odd kilometres almost seemed like a trip to infinity…probably because the flesh was weak and the spirit was failing. It was a beautiful ancient haveli that was converted into a fort. There was probably more to discover in and around the place…however the weary soul took solace in a few drinks by the bonfire.

Distance so far – 1657 km

Day 6 - Tanot / Longewala

Today was indeed a memorable day. One of the biggest high points of a road trip is to visit places most tourists dare not venture…

We drove down to the border town of Tanot. The drive was breath taking through some of the biggest sand dunes in Thar Desert. There is an interesting back story to this sleepy village. During the 1971 Indo Pak war – None of the shells from the enemy camp exploded near the temple. All those shells are still there…prominently displayed for all the visitors.


On the way back we took a detour and came through Longewala. This was the village where the entire 1971 war started and is the backdrop for the movie ‘Border’. Infact this scarcely populated village still has a Pakistani tank and crane that had made it to the Indian side and was eventually captured by our army.

In trying to make Christmas eve special – We hit upon a jackpot of an idea…Imagine Christmas eve sans turkey, sans plum cake and even sans Christmas carols. Yet it has to rank as one of my most memorable evenings.


We drove down to an area with secluded sand dunes and carried a local cook cum guide with us. We lit a bonfire and a just sat back while the temporary ‘man Friday’ prepared an amazing 3 course Rajasthani meal…fresh in the desert. It almost seemed like time stood still and the stars were shining only for us. Wow! What an amazing evening. Christmas can’t possibly get merrier than this…its sure going to take some doing to beat this

Distance so far – 1304

Day 5 - Sam Sand Dunes

An early morning walk through the bylanes of Jaisalmer meant the breakfast was well deserved. It also ensured that the partially digested dinner was by now fully digested!


In the afternoon we were picked up by a fancy SUV and taken to the Sam Sand Dunes (pronounced Sum). We had signed up for a session of dune bashing…This agency is famous for adventure sports in the desert and runs a successful franchise in Dubai. Dune bashing is similar to a roller coaster ride through the dunes. It’s quite a thrill…Pictures or written words cannot do justice to the experience…One has to live through it!

The best part of this day was that I was driven around for a change…The break from driving was probably required for the car and much needed for my back!

Day 4 - Jaisalmer

The drive to Jaisalmer has to be one of the best so far…The road was even, empty and straight…one could even drive blindfolded. Infact it was a case of - Desert to the left of me, Desert to the right of me and Desert in front of me! I guess the good monsoons this year ensured there was some vegetation even amidst the large quantities of sand.

We stopped at a dhaba in Pokhran for lunch. This town is famous for being the test site for India’s nuclear program. The way I stuffed myself – one more mouthful of the missi roti with ‘gatte’ ka sabzi would have surely triggered a nuclear reaction in my stomach.

We entered Jaisalmer just before sunset and saw the fort in all its glory…Its indeed magical the way the fading sunlight makes love to the yellow sandstone walls of the fort and radiates a golden glow. No wonder it’s also called the ‘Sonar Kela’.

This is supposed to be a ‘living’ fort. Inside the complex there are about 400 houses and 30 odd hotels. This also means every nook and cranny is a tourist trap. Reminds me of the Dal Lake in Srinagar where the fresh water lake is actually a civilization by itself.

Dinner was at a nice open air restaurant that overlooked the fort. We treated ourselves to some more Rajasthani specialities. This time we had the super tasty (calories laden) Dal Baati Churma…The steep walk back to the hotel in the fort definitely did my digestion a world of good!

Distance so far – 919

Day 3 - Gajner

The one thing that strikes you the most about this part of the country is the “extremes”…One needs the AC in the car in the afternoon and a heater in the room at the night…

The extremities is not just restricted to the weather…There is a hidden oasis in every part of the desert. We drove down to Gajner for a short day trip…The 30 km drive through the arid plain ended in this beautiful palace by the lake that overlooks a wildlife sanctuary. Gajner is home to a wide variety of migratory birds and makes the entire setting fitting for a postcard or two…


We decided to experiment with the extremes in the eating options as well. Having tried out the roadside treats earlier we decided to go for the tonier options today. The traditional Rajasthani lunch at the Gajner Lakeside Palace was heavenly. For dinner we decided to visit the Laxmi Vilas Palace. The bar was full of hunting trophies…from alligators to cheetahs. Forgive me PETA but I did enjoy a few pegs of scotch sitting there!

Finally it was a case of a complete circle…The day had to end at “Choto Motu Joshi”…A few extra Gulab Jamuns and some piping hot Gajar Ka Halwa will never harm anyone (except adding to the inches around the waist)!

Journey so far – 576

Day 2 - Bikaner

The best way to begin a winter morning is to visit a local tea stall and have a strong cup of ‘cutting chai’ with Parle G biscuits and the morning newspaper…When a couple of peacocks join in to enjoy the winter sun one truly feels blessed!

The drive from Alsisar to Bikaner was typical of this region…Great roads, negligible traffic and the ‘barren beauty’ of the deserts. Unlike the highways in Punjab which are dotted by dhabas that double up as a shelter house for the truck drivers, the highways in Rajasthan are similar to the topography of the region…they are completely barren. Infact the very thought of the car stalling and finding no one for help surpasses my worst nightmare.

The haveli we are staying in is a quaint little place that overlooks the Junagarh fort. The owner is a well travelled sassy gentleman who has done up the property with subtle class. Indeed a refreshing option in the otherwise busy and dusty down.

The evening was particularly memorable due to roadside “madras masala dosa cart” that served the most amazing dosas I have had north of Andhra…The stuffing was very different from the regular “potato fare” and was infact similar to the bhaji they serve with Pav Bhaji in Bombay. The next stop was the famous “Chotu Motu Joshi” sweet shop. Will sacrifice umpteen meals in any fancy restaurant for an extra helping of the special “sponge rasgullas” at this semi roadside place...

Journey so far – 492 KM

Day 1 – Alsisar

The drive from Delhi from Alsisar is supposed to be the worst stretch of the entire trip…The adage “well begun is half done” is definitely not applicable here. The road is so bad in patches that it almost felt like a camel ride. In hindsight it was an apt welcome to Rajasthan.


As one drives from Delhi to Rajasthan via Haryana it is interesting to note the visible difference in the soil and vegetation…Something we learnt in the geography text books in school! Experiencing first hand was so much fun…Maybe the schools can take a lesson from here…

Alsisar is a tiny village in the Jhunjhunu district, part of the Shekhawati region…while the Shekhawati region is famous for havelis and palaces – Jhunjhunu scores high on primary and secondary education. It is heartening to see a school pop out of every corner…Reminds me of the ad – “Padhega India to Badhega India”.

Alsisar Palace is a beautiful heritage haveli that has been converted into a hotel. The dining room is to die for…Yet the wannabe Rajasthani folk music during dinner is something I can kill them for. I guess this is one of the many perils of catering to the foreign groups who come to get a taste of rustic India.


It was interesting to note that amidst the haveli’s and the ruins – there were enough telecom towers that ensured that not only was my cell phone network on full strength, but even the GPRS was working. Telecom revolution zindabad!

Journey so far – 261 KM