Angel's Share

Every year, around 2% of single malt evaporates from the wooden casks during maturation...this is unavoidable and referred to as the 'Angel's Share'...it is considered a lucky charm!

We could have easily squeezed an extra day in Scotland to be back in time for the Monday morning meeting. Yet, we unanimously agreed to return a day earlier to spend Sunday with Anya. This is our equivalent of the lil angel's share. 

The only snag in this entire holiday. While Etihad is a great airline...the last leg (Abu Dhabi to Bombay) was operated by Jet Airways. I have always been a Jet loyalist but this was shit with a capital S! There were more mallus in the flight than in the Sunny Leone section on xvideos. It was disgusting to see the 'cattle class' harass the air hostess for extra drinks. After such a fab break - this has to qualify as the Devils Share!

 

PS - I spoke too soon. Our bags didn't arrive...probably they wanted to enjoy Scotland for an extra day. Obviously, when it comes to a voracious appetite - the poor angel can never compete with the devil!

Indi-Yeah!

We have never been a race that has believed in world domination. The closest we have come is to export software coders to all the Western countries. I guess it is a combination of being diligent and willing to work at half the cost. However, China is fast wiping out that competitive edge - the communist doggedness and willing to work for a bowl of rice is irreplaceable...

However, it does feel good to see so many Indians making a mark in UK. I am not the patriotic kinds - but I remember my chest swelling with pride and wiping the imaginary tear on finding an ICICI Bank branch in Hyde Park. London was always well covered - But Scotland too is full of Indian restaurants...from the capital to the highlands. Two high points that will always be memorable...

1) We googled a fancy place called Vintage Bar. On reaching the coordinates, we found the place was taken over by a new management and was now called V Deep. The ambience was good, the staff helpful and had a good mix of people enjoying the food. The cuisine - Indian tapas. I still can't get over the 'goras' stuffing their face with pakoras and washing it down with the finest single malt!

2) What are the odds of finding a Bong restaurant at the shore area? Not just the cuisine, but also the name was Bengali. Glad to know my tribe has gone beyond writing poetry and discussing Marxist ideology and taken a step towards capitalism!

The two loves of my life...

Before your mind wavers towards faulty assumptions...they are music and sports. A pub captures the best of both worlds. I have always been fascinated with the quintessential British pub. It is a melting pot of a wide variety of people and culture. Retired and grumpy uncles complaining about life, office goers stopping for a beer before getting back home, college students bitching about their girlfriends, the odd dating couple and the recluse with a book (in a pub!)...you find them all

I was lucky to be in Scotland when the Ashes and the Wimbledon were going on. The adage says - Scots support only two sporting teams - Scotland and any team playing against England. This might not be entirely true. There was visible heartbreak when Murray was steamrolled by Federer. Similarly the excitement was palpable when England upset the Aussies in the first Ashes test...

Sports tourism is a big deal. I guess I have just been fortunate to be at the right place at the right time...always unplanned and somewhat Slumdog Millionairish....I was in London to launch Aaj Tak when India beat England in a test series in 2007. I guess, the last time we had a respectable away series with a favourable result. I watched Dhoni narrowly miss what would have been his first century outside the sub-continent (the bloke is yet to score one across formats)...Better still - Kumble scored his maiden century. During the 2008 football World Cup, I was in Munich and Amsterdam watching the respective national sides create magic. Similarly, was holidaying in Vancouver during the Stanley Cup finals and the local Canucks had made it to the finals for the first time...I remember missing the first Gran Prix in Istanbul by a few days, yet the buzz and festivity couldn't be missed! I guess this is the true litmus test to determine the sports culture of a nation...India sure has a lot of catching up to do!

And while India can take its time to catch up with the west...I didn't waste any to catch up on the gig bars...The Jazz Bar in Edinburgh was spectacular. Johnny Foxes and Gellions in Inverness were incredible. Every street corner had a bunch of talented musicians performing. But my favourite has to be Whistle Binkies - it's not as tony as the other places but the vibe is to die for. A new band performs every couple of hours...good old fashioned rock, just the way it should be served - loud!

Feeling Touristy!

 It's day 5 of the break and the 'discovery' phase seems to be over. Infact, I have started feeling like a tourist. I guess all the driving does take a toll. While the spirit is only a tad jaded, the flesh does seem weak. This also means I can hit the bar with a vengeance to make up for the opportunity loss. I can safely deactivate the 'responsible' filter for the remaining few days

 

Inverness is a nice quaint town. It is the capital of the highlands and most city slickers land up here for a weekend break. In crude terms - it is the Lonavla equivalent of Scotland (with a lot more character)...We are staying in tony heritage hotel that overlooks river Ness and a castle. This place is renowned for its steak and live music. There is a definite shortage of both in Bombay...it's catch up time, baby!

'Skye' is the limit...

The dense clouds make love to the mountains, the golden rays of the sun provide the perfect mood lighting, the sea preening in all its glory, the trees gently sway to the music of the winds, the odd drizzle that further slows down time and the long and winding roads...each one leading you to discover a new story and experience ultimate bliss!

Ah! The sheer joy of driving around and discovering Isle of Skye. Even an unromantic like me can't help falling in love!

We have a mandatory check box for every holiday - to discover hidden gems where most tourists won't tread. Google will offer little help and they won't be the most searched or reviewed on Trip Advisor. Be it Tofino in British Columbia, Garmisch in Germany, Oia in Greece, Cebu in Philippines, Monnickendam in Holland, Unawatuna in Sri Lanka and now Skye in Scotland. Fortune continues to favour the brave (read us!)

After driving over 200 miles, I don't have a single picture to share...not because I am lazy (ok, that also), but no single frame can do justice to what the eyes have witnessed. Every nook and cranny was like a 3D postcard. Take me out for a drink and I will share a few tales. Make it two drinks, and I might even share the itinerary!

Kilt, Scotch and Togetherness!

Ah! So we have finally taken the break. And Scotland it is! The planning process is indeed as enjoyable as the break itself. We usually spend 10 odd days on deciding the place. This is usually the extent of my stamina to argue with Bani. Eventually on the 11th day I give up and we 'mutually' agree on the destination.

This is my second trip to Scotland. I am promptly corrected - My first trip with Bani. We credit Aryabhatta for the invention of zero. I am bloody sure his wife must have played a key role. After all, no matter what a man plans, it eventually comes to naught when his better half takes over!

Super excited about this break...we have ditched the large cities (Edinburgh, Glasgow, etc) and the tourist traps (castles, whiskey tasting and more castles!) to spend more time in the highlands.

The break is also the longest we will be travelling without our lil typhoon. The earlier record was a princely duration of a day and a half and 100 kms away. It is indeed a marked improvement.

ps - This picture was taken against the backdrop of the largest scotch collection in the world. Almost true to the title - it captures Scotch and Togetherness...Kilt is missing and thankfully so!

Saleswoman of the Year!

It is unfortunate, but since time immemorial airlines have always used their air hostesses as eye candy (except Air India...unless they have a strategy to specifically cater to the blind). However, there seems to be a new trend where the air hostesses are also doubling up as aggro sales force. Perils of multi tasking!

The low cost carriers have already reduced the PYTs to purveyors of stale sandwich and crappy coffee. The international flights run a scam of bundling cheap perfume with accessories you will never need. But, the experience at Etihad was indeed new...The air hostess insisted that we sign up for frequent flier program. I tried to reason that I was already a member of Jet Airways and all the points accumulated as a partner airline. Little did she know...I might be a Bong by birth, but when it comes to airline miles - I can be a cunning Jew!

By now her calm demeanour had given way as the sales target was looming heavy on her head...she refused to give up. Even went to the extent of explaining how Etihad had picked up a 24% stake in Jet Airways and even had 2 seats on the board. Thankfully, she stopped short of giving details of their hawala transaction and the dubious source of Naresh Goyal's funding. However, I refused to budge! A classic case of brute force against an immovable object...

I have always regarded wifey as one of the best sales people I have known. Her recent award was a testimony of my adulation . But, watch out Bani...you probably have serious competition!

'Packing' a Punch!

I am not sure why airlines have an obsession with the personal packing habits of a traveller? Before one checks in for an international flight - he is greeted with a memo full of questions...and the one that tops the list - Did you pack your own bags?

Jeez...stop taunting me! I must admit - I never have and God willing (make it Bani willing)...never will pack my own bags. Sometimes, I seriously wonder - does Bani quietly slip in the memo to make me feel guilty! 

Tourist or Traveller?

Digital marketing is fairly intuitive and advanced. With the help of a few complex algorithms, it claims to sharply target communication to hapless souls, basis their need and mood. At least, that's what I assumed when a listicle with the question "Are you a tourist or traveller" popped up on my social feed.

While the content overdosed on stereotypes (similar to all South Indians are Madrasis, Mallus are horny, Bongs are cynical, etc. OK - I did make up a few), my answer to the question is a little 'off beat'! Honestly, I am neither...I am a wanderer. No map guides me...my spirit will always be my North Star! This kick ass repartee serves as a perfect alibi to my dismal ability to navigate using maps...

However, they must also add a 4th category...the retards! This august group comprises all the selfie stick carrying morons. I am planning to file a PIL that modifies the penal code making it mandatory to beat the jokers to pulp...with their very own selfie stick!

So, the wanderer is all set...for a break that is much needed and probably well deserved!